Over and Out

Well, I promised a week of blogs, but was felled by the flu on Christmas Eve and lost a week of my life.  The fog lifted the day before the lovely birthday party Hannah and David arranged for me Friday.  Thank you to all the greetings from friends far and wide.  I now am well and truly 60 years old.

As I promised, this is my last blog.  As I read through the site, it seems that I have touched on the main themes of my life in this year of preparing for the big 6-0:

1. I've examined my motivation for trying my hand at a Development career, and how to adjust to being an administrator instead of a teacher.  Result: parents are more informed and engaged at Highroad, our name is getting out into the community, and our enrollment numbers are up significantly.  I've learned to strike a life-work balance with Dave as my husband and my boss with many eyes watching.  I'm learning to enjoy my days off and be more strategic with my days on.  I still feel like a rank amateur most of the time and make a significant number of mistakes every week - when does that stop?
2. I've had a chance to talk about my family.  I love them so much it makes me ache, from my brothers and their families down to our youngest grandchild, the impish 5 yr. old Natsuki.  The delight in seeing each one find their place in this world is a salve to the pain in my heart from wishing we were together all the time.
3. I've touched on the topics of mentoring and needing a mentor - lots of threads to pick up here.

In recent days, I feel like the presence of God has been particularly close and clear.  I am assured that everything is OK, that things are working out just fine.  I feel strongly that there are opportunities waiting for me to discover - not that they will come to me;  more that I will come to them as I keep on my journey.

In days to come, I hope to blog again under a different banner.  I'd like to examine themes of friendship, role modeling and making the most of our time, energy and creativity.  But for now, dear readers, I'm signing off for a season.  Thank you for all your encouraging words.

It's Gonna Be What It's Gonna Be

You know how you make all these Christmas plans throughout the fall?  I'm gonna get a Christmas card out this year, I'm gonna entertain all week between Christmas and New Year's, we're gonna have a big sleepover - those kind of things.

Well, today is the day before Christmas Eve (which is called Tibb's Eve or Tipp's Eve in Newfoundland & Labrador - a little known Christmas fact) and by now I know which plans are going to be realized, and which plans are not.  Lots of baking did get done, no Christmas card again this year, we did get do the Peak of Christmas on Grouse Mountain, no Christmas light tours so far....you get the idea.  It's great to make plans, but by now it's gonna be what it's gonna be, and there is no point getting your knickers in a twist about what didn't get done.

And that is how I feel about turning 60 in 4 days.  I had all kinds of good ideas, plans, aspirations, dreams.  Some of them happened, some of them didn't.  I'm not thinner, but I have a great new job.  I'm not richer, but I made some great decisions with our finances this year.  I'm not famous, but I have a great time helping and enjoying the people that I love.  I still need a new pair of shoes to wear to my birthday party, but I've got a great dress.  I'm not thrilled about everything from my 50's, but I have a bright new shiny decade to take for a ride starting Tuesday.

So at this point, it's gonna be what it's gonna be; and I'm OK with that.

Thanks to My Kids

Generally speaking, nobody wants to hear about your kids as much as you want to talk about them.  But my children are spectacular, and it's my blog.

SARAH
Sarah's birth was a spiritual experience for my husband, who is not given to spectacular spiritual experiences.  When he saw her he realized she was a person, A REAL PERSON, and he loved her immediately.  I had been out ahead of him in this regard.

As a toddler, Sarah was my shadow.  At violin lessons, she wouldn't leave my side.  She was a homebody who loved time alone in her room with no siblings, GET OUT OF MY ROOM style.  Then on a ministry trip she connected with Chikara, one of my favorite students (no one to blame but myself here) fell in love, got married, had a baby and another one on the way and hauled the whole bunch to Japan to live for the rest of her life.  From her bedroom to Japan, folks, in a straight line with no steps in between.

I go to Sarah for advice - she is a great listener with a gift for objectivity.  She is changing lives of the women around her, and she and Chikara are raising 4 little girls to be powerful women of God.  She has faced many difficult challenges without her family around for support.  She is mastering another language and culture, building an ESL teaching business, pastoring, and building friendships.  I have a feeling this is just a start.

JONATHAN
When Jonathan was a toddler, he waited a long time to begin talking, and then he could say anything he wanted to.  He was a stoic, calm kid.  He always had a killer sense of humour with perfect timing.

I always thought Jon would be an engineer.  He loved to build, sort, and alphabetize.  He has always had a strong sense of right and wrong and needed very little discipline as a child - he was just more comfortable doing the right thing.  His leadership skills began to emerge around 6th grade, attracting great friends and organizing social events.  He became a fierce competitor in everything from table games to basketball.  Also around 6th grade, he was playing violin, piano, and trumpet, but he discovered the bass and that was it - he had found his musical voice.

Now pastoring in Phoenix with his wife Maria and four of my grandchildren, he has a life full to bursting of mentoring, music, composing, counseling, and now preaching.  Maria is sure we used to be as busy as they are now, but I can hardly remember all that.  One of the things I love about Jonathan is that if there is a crisis, he is there for you.  When we had my Mom's funeral, Jonathan hovered around me, making sure I had everything I needed, making sure I was greeting everyone I wanted to get to, making sure I was getting some coffee and goodies, making sure I was OK.  I thought at the time this was a perfect picture of his care for his flock.

HANNAH
When Hannah was born she was sick a lot in her first two years.  Then she got better and wow!  She had the personality of a freight train - her body could hardly catch up.  You always knew what Hannah was thinking and how she felt about it.  From the time she was a toddler, she had an amazing sense of empathy for anyone hurt or upset, and she just knew things intuitively that never ceased to amaze me.  She was always singing and loved to worship, being very sensitive to spiritual things.

Hannah went through a really difficult time when we moved away from Portland and the economy took a hit after 911.  She lost her job and had to survive on odd jobs etc.  It forged her strengths and caused her to assess what was really important.  Shortly thereafter she moved to Canada, met her husband Dave and began a whole new life.

Now we live in the same town and get to work together (she is the Gr. 4-12 music teacher) and see each other every day.  I am amazed at her passion for everything she does.  She is my personal stylist,  she has her students eating out of her hand, she loves, loves, loves to cook, and her kids are a riot.  She is such a comfort to me when I am missing all the other kids and grandkids.  She has grown into that larger than life personality with grace and strength.

JOEL
Joel, Joel, Joel.  I knew we were in for something when he was fighting to get out of his cuddle seat at 9 days old.  Joel put the HD in ADHD, climbing up the outside of 2 story sundecks and the inside of any door jamb any day any time.  Terrifyingly brilliant, he taught himself to read before kindergarten by walking through the Gr.1 room a lot.  I wondered if he would survive to adulthood and behold he has, a testimony to the grace of God.

Joel has surprised nobody by becoming a web developer, combining his passion for both math and languages.  He is a repository of facts both useful and otherwise and loves to read Greek, Latin and a few other languages that are mandatory for nerd geniuses.  He has become a true urbanite, working and living in the Vancouver area, trading in his car for a bike and a transit pass.  When he's not coding at work or at home, he finds groups of coders and meets with them to learn more about coding.  I'm not making this up.

Joel has found his tribe at Reality Vancouver, a new church that enjoys his skills as a worshipper and MC for Arts in the City nights.  He is a generous man of compassion with a razor sharp sense of humour.  We're all waiting to see what kind of a woman God is fashioning as his life partner.


Before we had children, we made a decision to raise them to be independent.  I'm not sure why we thought that was so important, but it was a conviction that we held very deeply.  I see families sitting together in church week after week, and would love to see that for my own family.  But if that were the case, we would only be able to minister to one congregation.  Now we are ministering to people in four cities in three countries on two continents.

At Christmas I miss everyone even more, but actually I will get to see all 4 kids over two months which is awesome.  I have learned to be grateful for the life each one has built, and to enjoy every moment I get to spend with them.  I love and miss my in-law children just as much, and then there's the 10 grandkids - don't get me started.

I feel a responsibility to my children to give them their freedom and independence.  Their relationship with me needs to be one of their own choosing.  If I don't hear from them, I contact them because I'm interested in lives, not because they owe it to me to make sure I'm in the loop.  I give them permission to speak into my life.   As I make decisions I proceed with them in mind - what role am I modelling for them now?  What are my motivations?  Am I actively pursuing God's plan for my life, or just coasting? 

Here is a verse I always loved and now I'm living it: "Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children".  Psalm 90:16

First World Problems

Joel put me on to www.first-world-problems.com  where people can complain in ways that only 1st worlders can.  2 examples: "It really irritates me when the turn signal of the car in front of me is out of sync with the music from my ipod." or "I went to the bathroom and forgot to take my iphone with me".  One from today: "when I had my Swedish massage today my makeup got totally messed up".

So here's my first world problem: I love my house, but it takes so much upkeep I can't travel as much as I want to.  Every corner is renovated and decorated (mostly).  Every nook and cranny is filled with wonderful things that up to now have been worth keeping; pictures from the last 100 years, china from 4 generations, 3 boxes of hymnals in case I ever teach Church Music History again....and oh so much more.

I find myself wondering: if I moved into a 600 square foot condo, what would be worth keeping?  If I packed everything else away in a storage space, what would I miss?  anything?  everything?

If I gave up my front lawn and my extra kitchen in the basement, where would my grandchildren play when they come over? If I go from 4 bedrooms to 2 bedrooms, where do my families sleep when they come?  If they only come every year or two, is it worth it?  If I give up this space, would they ever come?

Do I become one of those old ladies that can't be bribed to leave all their stuff?  Or do I become one of those old ladies that is so busy jetting off to one country or another that I no longer have time, room or inclination to open my heart and home to others, including my family?

These are my first world problems, or at the very least my first world questions.

7 days until 60

My goal in starting this blog almost a year ago was to prepare myself for turning 60.  Well, that's exactly what is happening next Tuesday.

I started blogging as a kind of self-therapy, and it actually kind of worked.  I found myself working on things within myself that were no longer so comfortable to blog.  So I kept working, but kept it to myself.  That's why it's been a long time since there has been a blog entry from me.

But now it's 7 days away, so I'm going to write 7 entries in 7 days.  Starting today.  Given the narcissistic nature of the purpose of this blog, there will be 7 new blogs about me, me, big beautiful me.

Here are some things I have learned about myself this year:

1. I am really enjoying my job in public relations.  I've found that when I joined Arbonne, I received great training in network marketing that translated very well into educational marketing.  It's really just about relationships, and I love relationships.  I have so much to learn, I fight to be consistent in my efforts and I only get done half of what I plan to do; but I love talking about my school.
2. I don't handle criticism very well.  I've had more criticism this year than ever before and it was pointed and personal.  I worked very hard to keep my responses truthful and professional and it all worked out to the good in the end, but in the process I felt very vulnerable and distrustful of others.  it took me quite some time to get over it, and that's the part that surprised me because I usually have pretty good bounce-back.
3. I've learned to make myself waste time.  It's too easy to be driven and feel like every moment needs to count for all time and eternity, but pretty soon my ability to be effective is frittered away.  I have been leaving town on my days off as much at possible, relaxing after dinner on week days, and working on having people over more frequently.  I don't know if I'm more effective, but I do find I handle things better and feel more creative.

I'm doing less than I was last year in music commitments - no church choir, not on the worship schedule, not teaching any music courses.  But I have added some very satisfying activities: local chapter of the Registered Music Teachers Association, joined the Valley Festival Singers in Abbotsford with Dave, started teaching some private piano lessons again and I've trained as a barista at our church espresso cafe.

Tomorrow let's talk some more.

5 Pants in 5 Months

If you follow my blog, you have been forced to follow the story of my pants.  Lucky you.

I pledged in April to make 5 pairs in 5 days, but the pattern proved problematic.  I did finally finish all 5 pairs, and have been wearing them gleefully this month.

The truth is, I made 6 pairs, because the very first pair had to be taken apart completely and resewn from the beginning.  I changed the pattern every time so the first/last pair fit just right, then went back to all the other pairs and updated all the changes so they all fit the same.  Here they are:

5 Pants in 5 Months

HOWEVER.....there is a curve ball:  In the last 2 weeks, Dave and I started cycling some of the trails around Chilliwack.  The setting is spectacular, but my cycling skills are not so it's pretty teetery, coasting-along style cycling.  So imagine my surprise when I put some pants on this weekend and they are all too loose - like 2" too loose!  Fortunately I somewhat anticipated my size changing and designed them to  be altered along the side seams easily.

 I'll just get right on that.

The 5% Summer

Welcome to the Cottage

We bought our cottage five years ago in the summer as a fixer upper with great bones.  We moved in a flurry, got the kitchen and bedroom operational, then 3 days later I left for Japan because Sarah was about to have Japanesie #4.  Turns out she went 2 weeks late, and I did not get back until the day before school started.

Meanwhile, Dave worked like a mad man.  One of the main things he did was refinish all the bedroom and kitchen floors which he discovered were straight grain Douglas Fir.  All the kids decided to come home for Christmas that year, so during the fall we renovated the main bathroom and the kitchen mostly by ourselves.  Here is what the kitchen looked like when we bought the house:

We got the bathroom to 100%, but not the kitchen so much, and we have never touched it again until this summer. We had replaced all the lower cabinets, but kept the orginal upper cabinets.  However, the upper cabinet doors had been unsuccessful refits, so we removed them but never replaced them. We had the floor molding in the garage, but it never made it to the installation stage. Also, because we never got to renovating the heating system until this spring, it was very hard to keep clean.  Here's what it looked like until this summer:

Can you see the dark open cabinets up high?  They are cedar lined!  For 5 years Dave has pondered the construction of the cabinet doors, which have to fit inside the casements, leaving no room for error.  Stacks of magazines and a garage full of tools were accumulated in the rumination process.

I'm happy to report that all is now complete.  We degreased and repainted all the walls and cabinets (I love you, Benjamin Moore!) changing the wall colour from a cream white to a soft gold, lined the cabinet shelves with glass (I love you, Brock Chapman!), installed the floor molding, stripped and stained the original Douglas Fir doors to match the floor and replaced the curtain hardware.

All this was just a backdrop to those 13 brand new cabinet doors, the "pieces des resistance".  Each door was a torture to create and fit because no two openings were the same size. We wanted them to look like they had always been there.  The glass doors were fitted with a vintage look seeded glass (I love you Brock Chapman!) and the bottom 2 shelves were left open which I love, love, love.  Here is the result:

You can see we changed the nook to a loveseat area.

Dave remodeled a kitchen moveable bar into a side table on wheels for the loveseat that also doubles as an extension to the counter when I need it, or a wagon to wheel into the dining room or living room for serving, like my great grandmother's old tea wagon:

I want you to see this all, because next I'm going to write about another dilemna concerning our house, and see what you think.  I'll keep you posted.

Thanks to Dave over and over for all the work he has done this summer.  The kitchen now sparkles and works like a dream.  It has a small footprint, but is so easy to work in, with everything at the tips of my fingers.  It's cozy and comfy and complete in every detail.  Because we took our time and lived with the kitchen for a few years, we knew it well enough to make the right decisions.  It was well worth the wait.