To think or not to think about work - that is the question...

I'm trying, folks.  I'm trying not to think about my job night and day.  (I have a new job as a development coordinator for our school.)  It's so tempting!  Everything I'm doing right now is so exciting, so full of potential - lots of events that happen in the next few weeks that need to be planned, things we have never done before.  There is such a warm reception for this new approach, so many good ideas, so many folks around me with great expectations, all of them possible to fulfill.  By me.

Such a typical reaction for women, isn't it.  We have to do it all.  We have to fulfill the expectations of everyone around us.  Because we can do it, we feel we have to say yes, or else we feel selfish.  Here's my personal twist:  I have more backbone than your average girl, and I don't have a problem saying no to anybody or anything.  But I know that strength can be overwhelming and intimidating to people around me, so I try to temper that effect by going the extra mile if it is within my power to do so.  And because I am strong and capable, I usually do have the power to do so and no excuse not to. 

Now I'm trying to pull back a bit because I find if I don't put that job in a box, I won't have the strength or presence of mind to be able to extend myself to Dave or my kids or grandkids.  I want to be able to extend myself to neighbours and friends more than I do now - that's going to take even more time management.

Today is my day off and I'm home.  My little grandson Xander (5) is sick and my daughter is throwing a birthday party for his big sister today so I asked if I could have him for the day.  I have a bunch of sewing to do for the school so I would normally just let him play while I worked.  But on this sunny morning, I knew I would get the sewing done somehow but I didn't want to miss an opportunity to enjoy my friendship with my little man.

Xander arrived today and had refused breakfast at home because he wanted to have dippy eggs with Grammy. I introduced all the grandkids to dippy eggs, my favourite breakfast when I was a kid: a soft boiled egg held up in a little cup with a cap cut off so you can dip a toast strip (called a soldier) into the egg yolk and eat it with your fingers.  We have special Nigella egg cups and special egg spoons that we use to scrape the egg white out to eat after the yolk is done.  Xander and I sat on the love seat in a cozy nook in the kitchen and ate at a little wicker table that he had set himself.

Next he had a bath so he could play with Grammy's bath toys and take as much time as he wanted.  Then he went outside to play while I set up the sewing.  He asked me to come out and play soccer so I thought, why not?  We played for about 30 minutes.  I could not for the life of me kick that plastic ball in a straight line, but he was so patient with me, giving me extra points, while kicking the dickens out of the ball every time.  I was distracted by the messy garden I wanted to stop and clean up, but I can do that any day - not today.

I didn't think about work even once.....