It's Gonna Be What It's Gonna Be

You know how you make all these Christmas plans throughout the fall?  I'm gonna get a Christmas card out this year, I'm gonna entertain all week between Christmas and New Year's, we're gonna have a big sleepover - those kind of things.

Well, today is the day before Christmas Eve (which is called Tibb's Eve or Tipp's Eve in Newfoundland & Labrador - a little known Christmas fact) and by now I know which plans are going to be realized, and which plans are not.  Lots of baking did get done, no Christmas card again this year, we did get do the Peak of Christmas on Grouse Mountain, no Christmas light tours so far....you get the idea.  It's great to make plans, but by now it's gonna be what it's gonna be, and there is no point getting your knickers in a twist about what didn't get done.

And that is how I feel about turning 60 in 4 days.  I had all kinds of good ideas, plans, aspirations, dreams.  Some of them happened, some of them didn't.  I'm not thinner, but I have a great new job.  I'm not richer, but I made some great decisions with our finances this year.  I'm not famous, but I have a great time helping and enjoying the people that I love.  I still need a new pair of shoes to wear to my birthday party, but I've got a great dress.  I'm not thrilled about everything from my 50's, but I have a bright new shiny decade to take for a ride starting Tuesday.

So at this point, it's gonna be what it's gonna be; and I'm OK with that.

Thanks to My Kids

Generally speaking, nobody wants to hear about your kids as much as you want to talk about them.  But my children are spectacular, and it's my blog.

SARAH
Sarah's birth was a spiritual experience for my husband, who is not given to spectacular spiritual experiences.  When he saw her he realized she was a person, A REAL PERSON, and he loved her immediately.  I had been out ahead of him in this regard.

As a toddler, Sarah was my shadow.  At violin lessons, she wouldn't leave my side.  She was a homebody who loved time alone in her room with no siblings, GET OUT OF MY ROOM style.  Then on a ministry trip she connected with Chikara, one of my favorite students (no one to blame but myself here) fell in love, got married, had a baby and another one on the way and hauled the whole bunch to Japan to live for the rest of her life.  From her bedroom to Japan, folks, in a straight line with no steps in between.

I go to Sarah for advice - she is a great listener with a gift for objectivity.  She is changing lives of the women around her, and she and Chikara are raising 4 little girls to be powerful women of God.  She has faced many difficult challenges without her family around for support.  She is mastering another language and culture, building an ESL teaching business, pastoring, and building friendships.  I have a feeling this is just a start.

JONATHAN
When Jonathan was a toddler, he waited a long time to begin talking, and then he could say anything he wanted to.  He was a stoic, calm kid.  He always had a killer sense of humour with perfect timing.

I always thought Jon would be an engineer.  He loved to build, sort, and alphabetize.  He has always had a strong sense of right and wrong and needed very little discipline as a child - he was just more comfortable doing the right thing.  His leadership skills began to emerge around 6th grade, attracting great friends and organizing social events.  He became a fierce competitor in everything from table games to basketball.  Also around 6th grade, he was playing violin, piano, and trumpet, but he discovered the bass and that was it - he had found his musical voice.

Now pastoring in Phoenix with his wife Maria and four of my grandchildren, he has a life full to bursting of mentoring, music, composing, counseling, and now preaching.  Maria is sure we used to be as busy as they are now, but I can hardly remember all that.  One of the things I love about Jonathan is that if there is a crisis, he is there for you.  When we had my Mom's funeral, Jonathan hovered around me, making sure I had everything I needed, making sure I was greeting everyone I wanted to get to, making sure I was getting some coffee and goodies, making sure I was OK.  I thought at the time this was a perfect picture of his care for his flock.

HANNAH
When Hannah was born she was sick a lot in her first two years.  Then she got better and wow!  She had the personality of a freight train - her body could hardly catch up.  You always knew what Hannah was thinking and how she felt about it.  From the time she was a toddler, she had an amazing sense of empathy for anyone hurt or upset, and she just knew things intuitively that never ceased to amaze me.  She was always singing and loved to worship, being very sensitive to spiritual things.

Hannah went through a really difficult time when we moved away from Portland and the economy took a hit after 911.  She lost her job and had to survive on odd jobs etc.  It forged her strengths and caused her to assess what was really important.  Shortly thereafter she moved to Canada, met her husband Dave and began a whole new life.

Now we live in the same town and get to work together (she is the Gr. 4-12 music teacher) and see each other every day.  I am amazed at her passion for everything she does.  She is my personal stylist,  she has her students eating out of her hand, she loves, loves, loves to cook, and her kids are a riot.  She is such a comfort to me when I am missing all the other kids and grandkids.  She has grown into that larger than life personality with grace and strength.

JOEL
Joel, Joel, Joel.  I knew we were in for something when he was fighting to get out of his cuddle seat at 9 days old.  Joel put the HD in ADHD, climbing up the outside of 2 story sundecks and the inside of any door jamb any day any time.  Terrifyingly brilliant, he taught himself to read before kindergarten by walking through the Gr.1 room a lot.  I wondered if he would survive to adulthood and behold he has, a testimony to the grace of God.

Joel has surprised nobody by becoming a web developer, combining his passion for both math and languages.  He is a repository of facts both useful and otherwise and loves to read Greek, Latin and a few other languages that are mandatory for nerd geniuses.  He has become a true urbanite, working and living in the Vancouver area, trading in his car for a bike and a transit pass.  When he's not coding at work or at home, he finds groups of coders and meets with them to learn more about coding.  I'm not making this up.

Joel has found his tribe at Reality Vancouver, a new church that enjoys his skills as a worshipper and MC for Arts in the City nights.  He is a generous man of compassion with a razor sharp sense of humour.  We're all waiting to see what kind of a woman God is fashioning as his life partner.


Before we had children, we made a decision to raise them to be independent.  I'm not sure why we thought that was so important, but it was a conviction that we held very deeply.  I see families sitting together in church week after week, and would love to see that for my own family.  But if that were the case, we would only be able to minister to one congregation.  Now we are ministering to people in four cities in three countries on two continents.

At Christmas I miss everyone even more, but actually I will get to see all 4 kids over two months which is awesome.  I have learned to be grateful for the life each one has built, and to enjoy every moment I get to spend with them.  I love and miss my in-law children just as much, and then there's the 10 grandkids - don't get me started.

I feel a responsibility to my children to give them their freedom and independence.  Their relationship with me needs to be one of their own choosing.  If I don't hear from them, I contact them because I'm interested in lives, not because they owe it to me to make sure I'm in the loop.  I give them permission to speak into my life.   As I make decisions I proceed with them in mind - what role am I modelling for them now?  What are my motivations?  Am I actively pursuing God's plan for my life, or just coasting? 

Here is a verse I always loved and now I'm living it: "Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children".  Psalm 90:16

First World Problems

Joel put me on to www.first-world-problems.com  where people can complain in ways that only 1st worlders can.  2 examples: "It really irritates me when the turn signal of the car in front of me is out of sync with the music from my ipod." or "I went to the bathroom and forgot to take my iphone with me".  One from today: "when I had my Swedish massage today my makeup got totally messed up".

So here's my first world problem: I love my house, but it takes so much upkeep I can't travel as much as I want to.  Every corner is renovated and decorated (mostly).  Every nook and cranny is filled with wonderful things that up to now have been worth keeping; pictures from the last 100 years, china from 4 generations, 3 boxes of hymnals in case I ever teach Church Music History again....and oh so much more.

I find myself wondering: if I moved into a 600 square foot condo, what would be worth keeping?  If I packed everything else away in a storage space, what would I miss?  anything?  everything?

If I gave up my front lawn and my extra kitchen in the basement, where would my grandchildren play when they come over? If I go from 4 bedrooms to 2 bedrooms, where do my families sleep when they come?  If they only come every year or two, is it worth it?  If I give up this space, would they ever come?

Do I become one of those old ladies that can't be bribed to leave all their stuff?  Or do I become one of those old ladies that is so busy jetting off to one country or another that I no longer have time, room or inclination to open my heart and home to others, including my family?

These are my first world problems, or at the very least my first world questions.

7 days until 60

My goal in starting this blog almost a year ago was to prepare myself for turning 60.  Well, that's exactly what is happening next Tuesday.

I started blogging as a kind of self-therapy, and it actually kind of worked.  I found myself working on things within myself that were no longer so comfortable to blog.  So I kept working, but kept it to myself.  That's why it's been a long time since there has been a blog entry from me.

But now it's 7 days away, so I'm going to write 7 entries in 7 days.  Starting today.  Given the narcissistic nature of the purpose of this blog, there will be 7 new blogs about me, me, big beautiful me.

Here are some things I have learned about myself this year:

1. I am really enjoying my job in public relations.  I've found that when I joined Arbonne, I received great training in network marketing that translated very well into educational marketing.  It's really just about relationships, and I love relationships.  I have so much to learn, I fight to be consistent in my efforts and I only get done half of what I plan to do; but I love talking about my school.
2. I don't handle criticism very well.  I've had more criticism this year than ever before and it was pointed and personal.  I worked very hard to keep my responses truthful and professional and it all worked out to the good in the end, but in the process I felt very vulnerable and distrustful of others.  it took me quite some time to get over it, and that's the part that surprised me because I usually have pretty good bounce-back.
3. I've learned to make myself waste time.  It's too easy to be driven and feel like every moment needs to count for all time and eternity, but pretty soon my ability to be effective is frittered away.  I have been leaving town on my days off as much at possible, relaxing after dinner on week days, and working on having people over more frequently.  I don't know if I'm more effective, but I do find I handle things better and feel more creative.

I'm doing less than I was last year in music commitments - no church choir, not on the worship schedule, not teaching any music courses.  But I have added some very satisfying activities: local chapter of the Registered Music Teachers Association, joined the Valley Festival Singers in Abbotsford with Dave, started teaching some private piano lessons again and I've trained as a barista at our church espresso cafe.

Tomorrow let's talk some more.

5 Pants in 5 Months

If you follow my blog, you have been forced to follow the story of my pants.  Lucky you.

I pledged in April to make 5 pairs in 5 days, but the pattern proved problematic.  I did finally finish all 5 pairs, and have been wearing them gleefully this month.

The truth is, I made 6 pairs, because the very first pair had to be taken apart completely and resewn from the beginning.  I changed the pattern every time so the first/last pair fit just right, then went back to all the other pairs and updated all the changes so they all fit the same.  Here they are:

5 Pants in 5 Months

HOWEVER.....there is a curve ball:  In the last 2 weeks, Dave and I started cycling some of the trails around Chilliwack.  The setting is spectacular, but my cycling skills are not so it's pretty teetery, coasting-along style cycling.  So imagine my surprise when I put some pants on this weekend and they are all too loose - like 2" too loose!  Fortunately I somewhat anticipated my size changing and designed them to  be altered along the side seams easily.

 I'll just get right on that.

The 5% Summer

Welcome to the Cottage

We bought our cottage five years ago in the summer as a fixer upper with great bones.  We moved in a flurry, got the kitchen and bedroom operational, then 3 days later I left for Japan because Sarah was about to have Japanesie #4.  Turns out she went 2 weeks late, and I did not get back until the day before school started.

Meanwhile, Dave worked like a mad man.  One of the main things he did was refinish all the bedroom and kitchen floors which he discovered were straight grain Douglas Fir.  All the kids decided to come home for Christmas that year, so during the fall we renovated the main bathroom and the kitchen mostly by ourselves.  Here is what the kitchen looked like when we bought the house:

We got the bathroom to 100%, but not the kitchen so much, and we have never touched it again until this summer. We had replaced all the lower cabinets, but kept the orginal upper cabinets.  However, the upper cabinet doors had been unsuccessful refits, so we removed them but never replaced them. We had the floor molding in the garage, but it never made it to the installation stage. Also, because we never got to renovating the heating system until this spring, it was very hard to keep clean.  Here's what it looked like until this summer:

Can you see the dark open cabinets up high?  They are cedar lined!  For 5 years Dave has pondered the construction of the cabinet doors, which have to fit inside the casements, leaving no room for error.  Stacks of magazines and a garage full of tools were accumulated in the rumination process.

I'm happy to report that all is now complete.  We degreased and repainted all the walls and cabinets (I love you, Benjamin Moore!) changing the wall colour from a cream white to a soft gold, lined the cabinet shelves with glass (I love you, Brock Chapman!), installed the floor molding, stripped and stained the original Douglas Fir doors to match the floor and replaced the curtain hardware.

All this was just a backdrop to those 13 brand new cabinet doors, the "pieces des resistance".  Each door was a torture to create and fit because no two openings were the same size. We wanted them to look like they had always been there.  The glass doors were fitted with a vintage look seeded glass (I love you Brock Chapman!) and the bottom 2 shelves were left open which I love, love, love.  Here is the result:

You can see we changed the nook to a loveseat area.

Dave remodeled a kitchen moveable bar into a side table on wheels for the loveseat that also doubles as an extension to the counter when I need it, or a wagon to wheel into the dining room or living room for serving, like my great grandmother's old tea wagon:

I want you to see this all, because next I'm going to write about another dilemna concerning our house, and see what you think.  I'll keep you posted.

Thanks to Dave over and over for all the work he has done this summer.  The kitchen now sparkles and works like a dream.  It has a small footprint, but is so easy to work in, with everything at the tips of my fingers.  It's cozy and comfy and complete in every detail.  Because we took our time and lived with the kitchen for a few years, we knew it well enough to make the right decisions.  It was well worth the wait.

My First Chair

Recently, one of the two matching leather armchairs in our living split right about where Dave's shoulder rests. As I dithered about what to do the split got bigger and more irreparable so they had to go.  Hannah felt sorry for me and gave me two chairs from her house; one was Dave's old oxblood leather chair and ottoman that I had made him get rid of in an earlier renovation.  He was so happy to have it back that I immediately regretted ever making him part with it.

This was the other chair she gave me:

Clearly, this is a mid-century modern chair that is in pretty rough shape, .not a chair designed for the 1930's English cottage we live in.  But this chair had one redeeming quality - it fit me!

I'm short and squat.  Buying furniture is torture for us because Dave is a foot taller than me.  When I try to sit on furniture that Dave is comfortable with, I can either reach the floor or the back of the seat, but never both.  If Dave tries to sit in a chair that fits me, he looks all scrunched up like Gulliver having tea with the Lilliputians.  We don't buy those chairs.

But this chair found me, fits me, loves me, wraps it's loving mid-century arms around me.  Now, how to fit it into the decor?

25 years ago, I slipcovered a beat up sofa and chair, so I thought I would give it another try.  At THE fabric store in Chilliwack, I found set of fabrics that would work in my livingroom for $16.00 a metre.  At the till they were $3.00 a metre! score!  Back home, I made a pattern, cut it out, sewed it together in one night - awesome!

By the light of day, I saw all my mistakes - it didn't fit around the shoulders, the seat was crooked blah, blah, blah.  But a week later, I finally had it all together and I am pretty excited that I get to sit in my pretty chair and touch the floor whenever I want to.  Wanna see it?

Mid-century modern lines are hidden under the deep skirt so it blends with the room.  It's the first time I've had my own chair.  Be happy for me!

Old Lady Feet

No kidding, I'm trying to deal with turning 60 and how it's not really a big deal, 60 is just a number, I'm a young 59, I have a future and a hope, right? right?

My feet have outed me.  I went for a walk in downtown Seattle in March and ended up with horrible pain in both legs for weeks.  Tried the meds - nothing.  Tried physio - bingo. Huge rangy cyclist mountain climber from NZ named Craig worked me over good.  Second visit Craig taped up my feet tight and said "try that!".  It was awesome.  So he sent me to the orthotics guy (Jeremy).  That's orthotics spelled "orth60tics".

No joke, I'm limping in to Jeremy's office wearing the only shoes I have that fit around all the tape, which of course look like orthopedic shoes.  He has an orthopedic student from the university, a sweet young thing in her 20s who seems to never have seen a foot before.  So he reads out my chart to her "Mrs. Shinness is 59, almost 60, with leg pain very typical for her age." Great start.  Then he gives her the tour of every corner of each of my feet top and bottom telling her all the things that are wrong due to stress and aging.  While it is interesting for me to hear all the details, all I can hear him say is "OLD LADY FEET, OLD LADY FEET, OLD LADY FEET, and right here we see MORE OLD LADY FEET".  AGHHHHH!!!!

Now it is weeks later, I have the pricey orthotic inserts in my shoes, I'm finished physio, and I can walk without pain.  I still have to find shoes that can hold these inserts that don't look like old lady shoes.  I did learn that feet problems are highly related to your family members' feet, and I put together that my mom's feet problems started right when she was my age.  She never followed up because she wanted to be young and not an old lady, but within a handful of years she lost her mobility.

Lesson learned.  I still have a future and a hope (I do, right?) but in that future, I'll be wearing orthotics!

21st century education - what is that?

End of May, Dave and I went to a symposium on 21st century Christian Education - preparing students for 2025.  Take a look at www.21stcenturyeducators.com for some reading links if you are at all curious.


People from many different countries and education streams gathered for 3 days of discussion in this great venue called the Morris J.Wosk Centre for Dialogue in downtown Vancouver - I felt like I was in the U.N.  I attend a lot of conferences each year, but I came away from this stunned and buzzed at the same time.  We met this gang of rabble rousers from the Sydney Center for Innovation in Learning that challenged almost everything we do in our regular everyday classrooms. Sir Ken Robinson has a Youtube (RSA Animate Changing Education Paradigms) with an animation that blew my mind - really, I will never look at a school the same way again.  The embedding of technology into every classroom was a big part of the discussion, but I came away with the conviction that what needs to change is the pedogagy, not just the technology. Your probable response is "whatever that means" and you're right, I still can't put it into words myself.


Now, I have heard some of these ideas presented here and there over the years.  I've seen kids get turned off education (I believe I turned off a few myself, actually) and felt quite powerless to reverse that.  I've seen my creative, artistic, intuitive son-in-law change his concept of himself because he was assigned to go to the "dumb" high school.  But these dudes in at the Sydney Center for Innovation in Australia are actually doing this 21st century stuff, at a small (well, not so small anymore) Christian school attached to a local church.  They have been at it for 8 years, taking chances, making mistakes, being relentless in their pursuit of innovation (which I think should be spelled inovation but I'm wrong) and they have 7th grade boys breathless to get to school in the morning.


Now I want to get me some of that.

My Friend Maria Shriver

I was reading today about the unraveling of the marriage of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger.   They separated several weeks ago shortly after Arnold finished being governor of California.  Now we know that at that time he told Maria that he had fathered a child with a worker in the family home 10 years previously who he has been supporting since birth.  This is after many years of complaints in the media of Arnold's sexual misbehaviours.  They have four children aged 13-21 who must be very aware of the implications of this situation and it's effect on the public.  In addition, both of Maria's parents have died in recent months.

I find myself grieving for this lady.  She comes from the Kennedy family on her mother's side, a family that has known such high degrees of fame and infamy, of influence both wholesome and unwholesome for America.  She gave up a career in broadcasting to serve and support her husband in his political endeavours, and has made her husband and children her focus in the last decade.  She has in short order lost her parents, her home, her marriage, and her good name.  She must now shepherd her children and her own wounded soul through these next stages in public and private.

One of my life values I learned from Maria Shriver. At a crucial moment in my life I heard her say that a woman can do everything, but she can't do it all at the same time.  Sometimes she has to let go of one thing that she cares for very deeply to be able to do the next thing that she cares for very deeply.  I took this to heart, and it has saved me from spreading myself too thin, or hanging on to something after it's time has past.  Thank you for your wisdom, Maria.

At the same time, I wonder how a strong, wise, powerful woman like Maria chose to commit herself to a man who obviously did not demonstrate a faithful spirit and lifestyle before she even met him.  Could she not find someone to match her personal and spiritual values?  Did she think this was the best she could do?  Did she think that she was strong enough to change him into what he should be?

I shake my head, but I grieve for her all the same.

5 Pants in 5 Weeks

ARGHHHH!  I can't sew anymore - what was I thinking?
My house is a mess.  There are stacks of things waiting to put away on every horizontal surface (except the grand piano, duh).  And there is dirt everywhere; real dirt, not pretend "oh, don't look at my house it's such a mess" dirt.  We ate out for 4 days until I finally bought groceries.  My bedding plants are still in their little plastic squares drying out.

Why? Because I'm sewing, yes I am.  I had forgotten how sewing takes over my whole life and I can't think of anything until the project is finished.  I almost forgot about Mother's Day and I'm the mother, for crying out loud.

And here's the best part.  My sewing now officially stinks. I've sewn 4 out of 5 pants so far.  I've altered the pattern 3 times and need to do it again.  Each time the pants fit wrong and I think I can fix it.  The last pair were close, but no cigar.  I've changed the leg 3 times and now need to create a facing, as hemming is no longer a possibility as I have hacked off any hope of a hem.  When I'm done the next pair, I need to go back and completely remake the first pair.

Sometime before I die there will be a picture on this blog of the 5 pairs of pants I made that fit me perfectly.  I swear.

5 Pants in 5 Days

As I am approaching my 60th birthday, one of the things I'm trying to do is decide what things in my life it's time to lay down, and what things in my life are worth investing in.  I can do a lot of things but I can't do them all at the same time, and if I try to keep doing everything I can't take on anything new, which I also want to do.

Sewing is one of those things I need to decide about.  I started sewing when I was in 5th grade, creating Barbie outfits by hand, using a pattern even.  I learned how to use a treadle sewing machine at my Auntie Viola's house, I took sewing lessons in the summer between Gr. 7 & 8 at the Singer store at Granville and 7th and made a navy blue wool double breasted coat dress lined with a suit collar, set in sleeves and a full lining - I still can't believe it.

After that, I made most of my own clothes until just a few years ago. I made clothes for Dave, sewed for all the kids, made my girls party dresses, Hannah's wedding dress, Sarah and Maria's bridesmaids dresses.  But in the last few years, I'm sewing less and less - stylish clothes are less expensive and available in a greater range of sizes, and I've been working full time and travelling to see my kids every chance I get.  Then what happens is that I'll try to sew something for myself and it ends up unwearable - ARGH!

Do you remember the movie Julie and Julia?  For 365 days, Julie blogged as she cooked her way through Julia Child's encyclopaedic French cookbook, one recipe a day.  I'm not gonna do that.  BUT I am going to make a pair of pants every day for 5 days this week with a pattern I made myself.

Oh, yeah I just said that.  In fact, I just finished the first pair - light grey linen.  It took me forever, I put the zipper in 3 times and I put the yoke on backwards.  They're OK, but a little big.  I just finished altering the pattern, I bought 4 other fabrics, organized my sewing room and I'm ready to roll.  This week I'll be working, attending a funeral, teaching 5 piano lessons and going to a home-school conference on Friday.  But before I go, I'll have 5 brand new pairs of pants.

It's Monday evening, I gotta go sew.....

Music education it is achangin'

Last Friday I attended an honour concert for the local music festival and was plunged again into the world of classical music competition.  Except for one or two, the performances were solid, some even brilliant.  There were kids who you could tell had a great practice ethic and an enjoyment of the end result.

I was disappointed at the difficulty level and the technique of the performer who was supposed to be the best of the oldest age group, but as I thought about it I wondered if there was just not that much competition any more at that level.

I'm seeing a change in the attitude of families toward their children learning music.  I know I'm stating the obvious, but most of the students who performed Friday were from families that had immigrated from Europe or Asia in this generation and had brought their cultural music learning ethic with them.

In our school, we just closed down our band program.  Now, my husband started and sustained the band program and is a fantastic band instructor, besides being the principal of the school.  He has taught prize winning bands for 37 years, and started bands in every school he taught in to great success.  But now we find that parents are not willing (or possibly even are not able) to insist their kids practice consistently, so the young instrumentalists never get to the place where they are no longer struggling with the instrument and just enjoying it.

However, when digging a little deeper we found many of these kids not practicing their flute or trombone were taking drum, guitar, bass or piano lessons on the side, and were practicing those instruments with vigor.  So we changed this year to a worship band format for our instrumental instruction, and the participation is full and enthusiastic.

Inside of me, I feel we have lost something; the experience of being part of a big, loud, moving music machine that carries the players and the audience to a different place inside.  That was my band experience.
But look what we have gained; players who are enthusiastic, more likely to get together and make music with their friends, gaining skill on instruments they will play until they die, having fun, making new friends and worshiping God.

I'm thankful that piano students still walk through my picket fence, up the path, knock on the door and come into my living room for a private lesson on my mother's walnut grand piano.  Somedays I wonder if I've time traveled back to the 1930's.  But these days, I better make sure that the lesson is an enjoyable experience, that my practice expectations for them are realistic and that the music is relatable to their lives, or this too shall pass.

how can my fingers do that?

I am a piano player.  I have 3 degrees in music, I have taught private piano, music theory, music classes and more for 45 years (I began as an infant....).  I don't ever remember not being able to read music.

My mother was a brilliant pianist - competition winner, guest soloists at community events, etc.  She taught lessons when I was young so I began to pick it up at 3 years old.  But I did not have consistent piano lessons until I was in Gr. 7.  Then I had 5 years of the whole meal deal: festivals, competitions, exams, music theory classes and exams, recitals, famous teacher with crazy lessons at 7 in the morning or 10:30 at night.

But because I had such a fancy shmancy teacher, he had a whole stable of thoroughbred students and I always felt like the pony with one short leg because I had gotten such a late start and I didn't practice as long and hard as the rest of them.  I never won a medal, or even a festival class.  Once I came real close:  I played my best, then the last student was blind!  They led her up to the piano, let her feel middle C, then she played some Bach Invention woodenly to thunderous applause and won the class.  I can't catch a break!

However, somewhere in the middle of that I taught myself to play by ear.  I played horribly for Sunday school singing with some spectacular breakdowns, but gradually I got more and more dependable.  In those days there was no written music for "choruses", just hymns, which were also played with improvised accompaniments and soon I could do that too.

Much later my husband and I joined a gospel group and we had so much fun with those guys - singers, rhythm and brass.  We traveled, played the Pacific National Exhibition every year and even recorded an album.  Dave and I still play together at events, and in church and weddings etc. In fact, we're doing a thing this Saturday with a bunch of old friends.

I realize now that most of those thoroughbreds with all their medals and certificates of merit were no longer playing the piano, unless they were teaching.  Also, not one of them could sit down and play Happy Birthday at a party without music.  Even though I never won a competition, my ability to play the piano opened doors for me, created friendships, supported me, and gave me true joy.

Even now, I'll sit down to play some scales or arpeggios that I have not practiced for years and years, and my fingers can still do that easily.  I watch them go and wonder" how can you do that"?  Maybe I practiced more than I remember, and maybe I was a better pianist than I thought at the time, but if you have a need for an Eb major scale, I'm your girl!

time to become a financial grownup

If one is going to be sixty, possibly one should start thinking more seriously about one's finances.  The power of denial is about to be broken!

We had some questions about the Canada Pension Plan because the rules are changing Jan. 1 2012.  Because my birthday is Dec. 27 I could legally retire at 60 3 days before the rules change.  Last year we really tried to figure this out, we asked several people and could not seem to get a straight answer.  The website was daunting.  So this year, with all this talk of change, I was really praying for a breakthrough when a lady from Welcome Wagon visited me at work, made her presentation and ended with "the last sponsor is my husband, who is a financial planner".  I had sandwiched this woman into a busy day in a busy week but that made the Holy Spirit light bulb go off in my head, so I told her if her husband could explain the CPP changes we would meet with him.

Of course he phoned with answers available, so now I had to put on my big girl pants and go see him.  I know we look like morons on paper, and now I was to be undone publicly.  I feared a fear and it came upon me!

I won't bore you with all the details, but here's what I learned: it's all about tax planning. Does everyone know this, and I am once again bringing up the rear?   I realized I don't even know how much we pay in taxes.  But that is about to change and there is nothing here I can't learn, even if it's my least favorite thing in the universe.

One day I was driving in a beautiful neighbourhood in Portland past gorgeous historical houses and I asked right out loud "what do you have to do to live in a house like that?"  I knew that there were a lot of professionals and money industry people there, but I realized that I am just as smart as any of them and I know how to work hard.  If my family had been in insurance or real estate or similar business I would have thrived in that environment; I probably would have done very well and could be living in one of those lovely homes.

But God knew what I needed and I was marked for ministry from an early age.  And now I live in a lovely historical home at peace with my family - priceless.  I have to trust that I'm smart enough to figure out what I need to learn to put our money in order for this season of life as well.  What a 60 project that is!

Open House

Last blog, I alluded to the idea of changing my approach to a big event that I was invested in and resolved to give it a try for Open House at the school, which happened on Tuesday March 8.  I decided to look forward to event, to imagine how it would feel to be successful, and to enjoy the fruits of our labours (I have some great help).

The thing about an Open House is that you really can't have any idea how many people are going to come.  I read a scripture in the morning from Acts 2 that mentioned the countries that people came from who were gathered in Jerusalem at the time of Pentecost, who carried the messages they heard that day back to their own nations - a pre-internet information superhighway.  I occurred to me that God has the power to gather to our Open House in Chilliwack whoever needs to be there to spread the story of our school to wherever it needs to go.  A phrase I learned in Phoenix at Lifelink:  God is God and I am not.

I had a blast that day.  Our visitors were spread evenly over the day, with a bulge in the afternoon, which we have never had before.  I relaxed and enjoyed every visitor I met, asked questions, listened to the answers, took some folks around the school myself just for fun, enjoyed the concerts.  Students involved in performing, serving, touring and playing basketball had a blast and felt ownership in their school. The day ended for me with two visits that can only be described as divine appointments.  When it was all said and done, we had 4 times the interested families visit and begin the registration process than ever before.  At the end of the day I was not even tired - I went home and taught a bunch of piano lessons!

I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this thing.  Now on to the next project......

How I survived Worship X Change

Worship X Change is a worship conference that our school hosted this past week for other Christian schools.  It began as a thought among a small group of music teachers at a conference 18 months ago.  Our association director suggested we carry it out at our school with our teachers, alumni and students, and this week that's what we did.  I spearheaded the organization with a team that kept it on the rails.

By all accounts it was a success.  The general sessions ran well, with great response from the kids, everything happened pretty much as planned, and the exit surveys were overwhelmingly positive.  It was all cleaned up in less than 2 hours, and the planning staff went out to dinner to celebrate.  Lives were impacted, God was honoured, and good seeds were planted.  As an added bonus, we broke even on the budget!

I realize today that I should be feeling euphoric, elated, satisfied, fulfilled - something, anything.... We had a vision, dreamed a dream, started a challenge, and came across the finish line with flying colours.  But I feel almost nothing, outside of being dismayed at what a mess my house is after days of neglect.

I don't think in all the preparation that I took time to picture what success would look like.  I didn't imagine how it would feel, what the impact could be.  My own part in the actual event was more like this:  tracking down the lost photocopy, looking for a tablecloth, pounding out documents at the last minute, realizing what I forgot to put on a list, spending money last minute that I didn't anticipate - like that.  By the time it was over, my feet and knees were killing me, and I could barely speak a coherent thought.

Today I rested, went to breakfast with my kids, had a nap, read a book, saw a movie.  I sat down with the exit surveys and read how kids felt they had grown closer to God, learned a new guitar technique, met some new friends, bonded with their worship band, understood the Bible in a whole new way - wow, wow, wow.

On Tuesday, we are having an Open House at school that I have also spearheaded, so I think I'm going to take some time tomorrow to anticipate the success, imagine how it will feel to meet the goals we have set, to try to see what God sees, to appreciate how the little things I do on Tuesday impact people for a lifetime, and prepare to celebrate down to my toes when it is all over.  If being in the development end of the school is part of The 60 Project for me, it needs to be something that strengthens me emotionally and spiritually - something more than just a pile of To Do Today lists that I pitch in the trash at the end of the day.

Excuse while I snuggle up with a good book......

Role Model Me

Do you have a role model?  Did you have a role model when you were a kid? Was there someone in particular that influenced you to go one way or the other with your life?  Did you reach the goals that you set as a young person?  (Let's all take a moment to prepare our answers)

OK, I'm ready: No.  No. Yes. No.

Role model?  No.  I have women I admire and learn from, but I think the women older than me never thought about being role models, of reaching out to younger women and challenging them. Sharon Wagar is probably the closest to a role model, but she's also my best friend - does that count?

Role model when I was a kid? No. When I was growing up, pretty much all the women I knew were housewives till the day they died.  They just did the basics and enjoyed themselves the rest of the time.  My mother taught a few piano lessons on and off - sometimes for survival, sometimes for spending money - but she hated teaching and couldn't wait to quit.  She was very capable - decorating, gardening, sewing, crafts, entertaining - and she was a spectacular pianist.  I learned so many skills from her because I was interested in many of the same things.  I wanted to be and do something significant in my life, but my parents thought I would never cook, never drive, and that it was a waste to educate a woman.  They felt quite strongly I should marry my high school sweetheart and teach piano in the basement.  (I have thought of this many times after I married my college sweetheart and was teaching piano in the basement).  I don't think the women of my mother's generation ever thought of being  role models.

Someone who influenced me?  Yes.  I had a teacher in Gr. 11 that I really impressed me.  I was in her Honours English class.  Every Friday we had a coffee house - no lights, candles, guitars, Leonard Cohen, poetry - it was so creative, challenging and cool.  I was teaching my first piano lessons at the time.  With my first earnings I bought a suede jacket and a guitar so I could be cool too.  When the spring musical was cast, I got on the costume crew headed up by the English teacher.  I learned to design clothes, sew masses of ruffles, use a curling iron, plan wardrobe changes etc.  The crowning achievement for me was designing and creating the bridal dress for the female lead - I was forever changed.  Later this teacher recommended me as the only student to represent my high school on the Hudson's Bay fashion council, on which I served my Gr. 12 year - that was a great experience.

Reach the goals I set as a young person?  No.  These were my goals: become a fashion designer, visit Paris, and do missions work in Africa.  I still haven't made it to Paris or Africa.  I don't really care about Paris anymore (now I want to see the gardens of England) and I will get to Africa - hopefully in the next couple of years.  Funny story about the fashion designer part.  I wanted to go to UBC but my mother wanted me to go to a Christian university so I visited Oral Roberts University and got a scholarship.  I left in September with a suitcase full of new clothes I had made myself to take fashion design at ORU.  In 2 days I learned two things:  1. ORU didn't have a fashion design program 2. if you get a music scholarship, you have to study music.  So I studied music, met the love of my life, got 3 music degrees and have enjoyed teaching hundreds of people, my own kids included.

I had a dear friend named Dorothy Williams who passed away a couple of years ago.  She was a teacher, a missionary to Africa and Taiwan, church planter, Bible college founder and president who preached all over the world and wrote books.  She also was a fantastic knitter ( like her best friend and Scrabble partner Fran Huebert) and sewed her own clothes with fabrics she collected from around the world.  Before Dorothy died, I asked her if she had met all the goals she had set for her life.  She snorted, then said she had never set any goals.  She just did whatever anyone asked her to do: one thing led to another and she ended up with an adventure-filled, satisfying, God blessed life.

That's a pretty good role model.

Just me blowing my nose again

So I'm into the 60 project thus far like this: I've changed to a less stressful job, I'm sleeping and eating well, I'm losing weight again, I'm walking fairly regularly and being nicer to my husband. I'm basically a candidate for sainthood. Did I mention that I'm taking my vitamins? I am. And calcium too.

And yet..... The ghastly head cold that leveled me in December and January IS BACK! with a VENGEANCE!

Now I'm not naming names, but I work with healthy adults and no children except for 2 little blue-eyed blondies of excellent heritage that look something like this:

You can see my problem here :).  As some old crusty Canadian said, "Life is tough and then you die".

Administrators change the world!

When I look at success in politics, institutions, families, businesses et al, I see that leadership makes all the difference.  In my world, I've seen small Christian schools with the same numbers, same stated goals, and same chances end up in opposite directions, some growing and affecting kids lives, some shrinking and sinking, some becoming powerhouses.  The obvious difference is the quality of the leader.  Duh.  But here's my epiphany: one major weapon of a great leader is working hand in glove with effective administrators. 

Administrators change the world.  I learned this studying church music history, of all things.  The first music ever written down was in the 7th century, thanks to an amazing man - Pope Gregory.  He only reigned as pope for 13 years, but in that time he not left a legacy that formed the basis of Western music, but he also evangelized Ireland, which eventually led to all of Europe being converted to Christianity, and effected great changes in the Church.  Great leader, but you know it wasn't Greg penning all that music or shipping out to Ireland.  He had administrators that did that, and did it well.

Martin Luther did something similar.  This man completely revolutionized the religious, cultural and political structure of Europe and the known world by challenging the authority of the Roman Catholic church.  He cared about the people in the pew who not only didn't understand the Latin service, but were not allowed to sing - only the professionals could do that.  Martin Luther translated the Bible into German so the people could understand it and created a whole new genre of sacred music by taking songs the people were singing in everyday life, setting German words to them that were based on the Bible, and printed the first two hymnals.  Marty did not create this all that himself.  He had helpers - administrators - that got those projects done and out there.

Somehow this always reminds me of my great grandmother, Elizabeth McCann.  She was a remarkable worman with the most amazing set of adventures - I'd like to write about her someday.  The reason I know about her escapades is that she wrote and published small tracts about her life and I am lucky enough to own a couple of them now, a hundred years later. Out on a farm in the prairies with so many children, she ran a churchand had everyone stay for dinner after service, yet she found the time and gumption to get her tracts published so that she could give her story to people she met.  Now that's administration!

Now it's me playing follow the leader to Dave Shinness.  He is a good leader who sees the big picture, works well with his own leaders, and eats, sleeps and breathes Christian school.  One of his great strengths is that he identifies leadership and administrative qualities in the people he works with and gives them opportunity to try out their wings.  That's what he did with me too, after years of teaching music - he thought I could do an admin job with special needs.  It was a massive learning curve for me; more paperwork than I care to think about (which is not my strength) but I worked my way through it until I got on top of it and I like the feeling of learning something big again.  I earned myself a sideways move to development and another huge learning curve.

I may not have the effect that Pope Gregory, Martin Luther, or even Elizabeth McCann have had, but I want to finish what I start and be one of my principal's secret weapons.  It reminds me of  that other famous couple, Pinkie and the Brain:

"What are we doing tonight, Brain?  Same thing we do every night, Pinkie; try to take over the world!"

To think or not to think about work - that is the question...

I'm trying, folks.  I'm trying not to think about my job night and day.  (I have a new job as a development coordinator for our school.)  It's so tempting!  Everything I'm doing right now is so exciting, so full of potential - lots of events that happen in the next few weeks that need to be planned, things we have never done before.  There is such a warm reception for this new approach, so many good ideas, so many folks around me with great expectations, all of them possible to fulfill.  By me.

Such a typical reaction for women, isn't it.  We have to do it all.  We have to fulfill the expectations of everyone around us.  Because we can do it, we feel we have to say yes, or else we feel selfish.  Here's my personal twist:  I have more backbone than your average girl, and I don't have a problem saying no to anybody or anything.  But I know that strength can be overwhelming and intimidating to people around me, so I try to temper that effect by going the extra mile if it is within my power to do so.  And because I am strong and capable, I usually do have the power to do so and no excuse not to. 

Now I'm trying to pull back a bit because I find if I don't put that job in a box, I won't have the strength or presence of mind to be able to extend myself to Dave or my kids or grandkids.  I want to be able to extend myself to neighbours and friends more than I do now - that's going to take even more time management.

Today is my day off and I'm home.  My little grandson Xander (5) is sick and my daughter is throwing a birthday party for his big sister today so I asked if I could have him for the day.  I have a bunch of sewing to do for the school so I would normally just let him play while I worked.  But on this sunny morning, I knew I would get the sewing done somehow but I didn't want to miss an opportunity to enjoy my friendship with my little man.

Xander arrived today and had refused breakfast at home because he wanted to have dippy eggs with Grammy. I introduced all the grandkids to dippy eggs, my favourite breakfast when I was a kid: a soft boiled egg held up in a little cup with a cap cut off so you can dip a toast strip (called a soldier) into the egg yolk and eat it with your fingers.  We have special Nigella egg cups and special egg spoons that we use to scrape the egg white out to eat after the yolk is done.  Xander and I sat on the love seat in a cozy nook in the kitchen and ate at a little wicker table that he had set himself.

Next he had a bath so he could play with Grammy's bath toys and take as much time as he wanted.  Then he went outside to play while I set up the sewing.  He asked me to come out and play soccer so I thought, why not?  We played for about 30 minutes.  I could not for the life of me kick that plastic ball in a straight line, but he was so patient with me, giving me extra points, while kicking the dickens out of the ball every time.  I was distracted by the messy garden I wanted to stop and clean up, but I can do that any day - not today.

I didn't think about work even once.....

Update on the 60 Project

So the weight thing.  I joined Weight Watchers with my friend Keri so that I would have some accountability.  I want to lose the weight I gained back since the summer.  All my spring clothes will be too small if I don't do this.  It is much cheaper to lose the weight than replace the clothes.

Couple of cool things about WW: 1. they now have a cool app for my iphone to track my eating and exercise.  2. I get points credit for exercise, so I have begun walking again, even in the rain.

So the too busy thing.  I have been orthodoxly religious about taking my days off and enjoying them.  Like right now I'm sitting by the fire IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON ON A WEEKDAY writing on my blog.  This is an example of me turning over a new leaf in the life balance arena.

I promised to be even nicer to my husband this year.  We started a new marriage course with a group of other married people.  It's called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage.  I was immediately challenged.  Wonder if I can break out of my comfort zone here.....

And finally, I am blogging!  I had major computer headaches.  For my new job we decided to use my personal laptop and make it do for both personal and professional needs.  After it was finished being reprogrammed, I couldn't get it to work properly anywhere.  Now I'm up and running again.

That's the update - I'll keep you posted.

The Next Big Adventure

On January 9 I teased everyone that I was rolling out my Next Big Adventure that week.  Which I did.  Just not to you, my lovely readers.  I've been livin' the dream since then and now I want to tell you about it.

I am now the Development Coordinator for Highroad Academy.  For the next 6 months I have three goals:

1. increase the profile of Highroad Academy in our community
2. make sure our parents and church members know more about Highroad.
3. work to increase enrollment in Highroad by 25 students for the 2011-2012 school year.

That looks quite boring to me, actually.  This is such a huge departure from anything I have ever done before, I actually have no idea if I can carry this off or not.  But so far, I am definitely NOT bored.

When we were newlyweds we returned to ORU so that Dave could finish his degree, as he only needed one year.  It did not go well.  Me getting stopped by a delusional border guard while crossing into the states was our first clue.  We had a tough time making ends meet.  Dave's department head was bound and determined that Dave was pursuing the wrong degree and did everything in his power to prevent his graduation.  At Christmas, Dave and I sat down at the rickety table in our $85 a month garage apartment and he proclaimed "we're going back to Vancouver, and we're going to THAT church!".

THAT church was Glad Tidings Temple, where my family were attending.  They were crazy people, standing and worshipping for 60-70 minutes at a time with their hands in the air, long prayer meetings, double tithing to the church and  world missions etc.  Dave always left there with a massive headache, but if we didn't go my mother would phone and lambast us for forsaking the gathering of ourselves together.

So we packed up the VW van in Tulsa OK and got back to Canada at midnight on Christmas Eve.  We found an upstairs apartment with Conrad Maines, Dave got a job driving a truck, and we went to THAT church.  3 weeks later, the pastor invited us to a meeting to discuss the possibility of starting a church school with Accelerated Christian Education.  Coincidentally, I had seen one of the first ACE schools in Tulsa and had come home to tell Dave what an interesting concept I had seen.  Hearing the pastor propose the very same thing in Vancouver BC I knew we had been set up by the Almighty.

That was the beginning of our life's work in Christian education almost 40 years ago. Dave taught for 8 years at Temple Academy (which later became Pacific Academy in Surrey BC), we pastored in Gibsons BC for 3 years while founding an ACE school, we both taught in Cornerstone Christian School in Abbotsford while Dave finished his teaching degree, then moved to Portland Oregon where Dave was both Music Pastor and vice principal of Temple Christian school (later City Christian School) for 13 years before returning to Canada for Dave to be the Principal of Highroad Academy, now in his tenth year.

In all of our experiences with Christian schools, Highroad Academy is far and away the best school.  Every school says it has a great staff, but this staff is amazing: the collegiality, compassion, creativity - I've never experienced anything like it before.  The input from the church leadership is steady and supportive, the academic level is the highest in our area, exceeding all expectations especially when the education and income levels of the participating families are considered. Our school is not a spectacular structure, but it is well built, well maintained and paid for.  The financials are solid as a rock and enrollment grew by 10-13% per year until the recession.  We have provincial winning sports teams and an extra emphasis on worship in our music program.  Everyday I show up, the office staff makes me want to be an educator all over again. Most of the kids in our church attend Highroad which makes up 30-35% of our enrollment.  The rest of the students are from 40 different local churches with no bickering or quibbling about it.  It's all that and so much more.

However, we are not good at tooting our own horn.  We don't advertise, we don't have parent meetings, we haven't had a proper street sign for years (a new one is on the way!), we don't require the parents volunteer or give large sums of money: we just show up each day, love the kids and do our best.

I want this to quit being Chilliwack's best kept secret.  I want to shout it from the housetops.  I know there are families looking for us - they just don't know who or where we are.  This is the school I wished I could have raised my own children in.  This is the school every community needs to have on every corner.  Schools like these raise leaders that change the world.  We are that school.

Now can you see why I'm so excited about this, my Next Big Adventure?  I think I have time in my working life for one more big thing that takes years to pull off.  Is this it?  I think so....

The Eyebrows of a 59 year old

I've come to realize over the years that my body is my body and I'm glad I've got it.  I'm healthy, compact, close to the sidewalk, and everythings works pretty good.  I'm almost proud of my pretty good hair, great eyebrows, excellent cheekbone structure, and everything south of there is what it is.

Now taking care of my great eyebrows has become a "thing" since I started wearing glasses 6 years ago.  I can't see my eyebrows to groom them - I have to ask a member of the sighted population to take care of them.

But a couple of days ago, the light was good so I thought I would check for strays by looking through my glasses as if they were magnifiers and to my shock and horror discovered MY EYBROWS ARE GROWING SIDEWAYS DOWN MY FACE!!!  This is not good!  If you only have 3 things you think are good about your body and one goes sideways on you (literally) it makes for a very short list........

To a Happy and Happier Anniversary

Saturday was our 39th anniversary. Dave and I had a delightful ceremony in a Craftsman mansion at UBC on January 15, 1972. We were a new generation with new ideas: we had matching wedding rings instead of an engagement ring, we wrote our own vows and we stayed in Vancouver instead of escaping on a honeymoon.  We were the real deal.

We were so happy to be together. We moved into our apartment with nothing but a trunk of clothes and our wedding gifts. Dave got a job from my dad and a delivery truck from my brother. I walked into my tiny kitchen, put my avocado appliances away and taught myself to cook by reading the two recipe books I received as gifts. The second week I was married we had our first dinner guests. I made a complete Chinese meal and we ate on a tablecloth spread on the carpet because we had no table or chairs.

We have pastored a log cabin church by the ocean, rushed sick babies to the hospital in the middle of the night, prayed with the wealthy and poor, dined with the prime minister of Israel, had money arrive by supernatural means right when we needed it, renovated numerous houses on a shoestring, and loved each other through it all - some days more than others!

Now we live together in an English cottage, work together in an amazing school and serve together in the best church we know.  That's a lot of togetherness.  It's pretty good, but I think this year I'd like to do a little better.  I don't want to take for granted one of the best people I've ever met, but I also need to make sure I have enough down time to unwind.  I know I have more to give when I've had time to reset my mind and emotions.  (And exercise - another topic for another day)

So this is part of The 60 project:  to make sure I preserve my days off for unwinding, keeping my mind off work, doing what needs to be done combined with taking care of myself.  Last Thursday I went shopping with my daughter - all day (I know!), and today I read a book, answered my email, got a pedicure and a haircut and visited with a friend.  Occasionally I feel guilty, like I should be changing the world or laying down my life for somebody, but I just smack myself upside the head and that pretty much takes care of it. Try it!

Do what I love?

Stuck at home watching an old Meg Ryan movie. Her character has hit bottom, and Bette Midler asks her "what do you love? Do it just for yourself!"

What answers pop into your mind? I drew a blank. I love everything I do. It's the amounts of it I have to do that gets me in trouble.

I have a new adventure ahead of me - I'll be rolling it out this week. How do I keep it from getting so big that it rolls over me like a tractor, squeezing out the fun? I have a mental picture of me opening this brand new window, and blizzard I didn't see coming blows in and flattens me against the far wall!

Do I do it just for me? I think I'm doing my work to serve others. I know others benefit, but I must be doing it for myself somehow. Hmmm....

When planning the 60 Project, I'd better take this into consideration.

Things that keep me awake at night

Jet lag.  An afternoon nap.  Caffeine.  Thinking about my kids/husband/life.  Imagining that One More Thing.

I think turning 60 next year is making me aware that I have just enough time in my working life for One More Thing.  Something bigger than me, that has a big learning curve, that will tend to consume me if I let it (another problem for another page) that will create something that was not there when I started.

I have some clues, but that's all so far. Stay tuned.  Do you have any guesses?  suggestions?

About the weight thing....

Let's just get the weight thing out of the way.  August 2009 David and I changed our eating, and I lost 47 lbs. over 7 months.  I started exercising around December, and got a personal trainer in March.  Then in April we spent 2 weeks in Phoenix with most of our family and put on a little.  Then the summer came and we did a big backyard project, not cooking proper meals and put on a little.  Then Dave went to Africa for 3 weeks and I enjoyed myself gastronomically while he was gone, and did NOT put on a little......until he came back.  We hit the ground running for the school year which turned out to be much more work for me than I had anticipated, and I put on a lot!  Now I'm up 22 lbs from March, but still 25 lbs. less than July 2009.

So now the obvious question is: should weight loss be a part of The 60 Project?  Here's the deal:

Case A:  I'm built the same as my mother and grandmothers - sturdy and close to the sidewalk.  I'm in excellent health, take no regular medications (except for Prilosec for acid reflux - I promised to be transparent), no heart, cancer, diabetes etc. issues.  I love food. Real food, with butter and pecans and gorgonzola and fresh vegies and meat, Jamie Oliver food - you get the idea.

Case B:  I liked weighing less.  I could move easier, clothes fit better, I felt younger, my body looked better - especially my ankles - and I was more willing to exercise.  However, I think I looked older in my face, the bags under my eyes got worse, and I now have a neck like a turkey.

Dr. Oz says a good goal is to lose 1 pound a month.  Is that even measurable for me?  My weight jumps up like it is on a mission from God to restore me to my former glory.  Do I look at this like a hobby?  If I would choose a hobby, it would be getting out into the garden everyday (which, in spite of what the magazines say, is NOT an exercise program), not measuring food and measuring me.  Do I do the Oprah - go up, go down, go up, get a rack of custom made clothes, Restylane and the best lighting in the world?  (sing along:  If I had a million dollars.....)


I'm leaning towards putting a 'sensible eating and walking a lot' plan into action for the next couple of weeks to un-Christmas my body and mind, then Sure Slimming our breakfasts and lunches and most dinners, and see where that gets me.  Any other suggestions?  Truthfully, don't you like to see it when your friends slim down a little?

Happy Birthday to Me

I'm in Japan celebrating my 59th birthday on December 27, 2010 when it hits me that I better get ready to become 60.

My husband David turned 60 a few months earlier, and it shocked me.  How could he be 60 already?  I started measuring everything back from him becoming 65, as in "OMG, he should be retiring in 4 years and 10 months and then he's stuck with me all day every day" or "if I don't get to Europe finally in the next 4 summers, I'll never have another chance!".  Like that.

This also happened to me when my mother died 2 years ago.  Being in the geriatric wards and nursing homes those last months made me feel like everyone in the world was dying, me included.  Which is true, actually - we're just not all dying this week.  We're taking turns, just like we learned in kindergarten.  Except I didn't go to kindergarten, because there was no kindergarten when I was a child.  That's just another example of how old I am, and how it must be my turn soon to, well, you know.

I do, however, have one year to prepare my state of mind and whatever else needs preparing to become 60.  I don't even know the questions to ask, which is rare for me, so I thought I'd try blogging.  I vow to avoid saying the obvious, such as "I feel 37!" or "what's the matter with kids these days?". (I actually know the answer to that last one.) I vow to be as transparent as I can be about what I am seeing, hearing, feeling and sensing.  I wonder if I'll get all serious about losing weight or filing my will, or if I'll keeping veering off the road with comments like:  gee, look at all the pretty flowers!