Over and Out

Well, I promised a week of blogs, but was felled by the flu on Christmas Eve and lost a week of my life.  The fog lifted the day before the lovely birthday party Hannah and David arranged for me Friday.  Thank you to all the greetings from friends far and wide.  I now am well and truly 60 years old.

As I promised, this is my last blog.  As I read through the site, it seems that I have touched on the main themes of my life in this year of preparing for the big 6-0:

1. I've examined my motivation for trying my hand at a Development career, and how to adjust to being an administrator instead of a teacher.  Result: parents are more informed and engaged at Highroad, our name is getting out into the community, and our enrollment numbers are up significantly.  I've learned to strike a life-work balance with Dave as my husband and my boss with many eyes watching.  I'm learning to enjoy my days off and be more strategic with my days on.  I still feel like a rank amateur most of the time and make a significant number of mistakes every week - when does that stop?
2. I've had a chance to talk about my family.  I love them so much it makes me ache, from my brothers and their families down to our youngest grandchild, the impish 5 yr. old Natsuki.  The delight in seeing each one find their place in this world is a salve to the pain in my heart from wishing we were together all the time.
3. I've touched on the topics of mentoring and needing a mentor - lots of threads to pick up here.

In recent days, I feel like the presence of God has been particularly close and clear.  I am assured that everything is OK, that things are working out just fine.  I feel strongly that there are opportunities waiting for me to discover - not that they will come to me;  more that I will come to them as I keep on my journey.

In days to come, I hope to blog again under a different banner.  I'd like to examine themes of friendship, role modeling and making the most of our time, energy and creativity.  But for now, dear readers, I'm signing off for a season.  Thank you for all your encouraging words.

It's Gonna Be What It's Gonna Be

You know how you make all these Christmas plans throughout the fall?  I'm gonna get a Christmas card out this year, I'm gonna entertain all week between Christmas and New Year's, we're gonna have a big sleepover - those kind of things.

Well, today is the day before Christmas Eve (which is called Tibb's Eve or Tipp's Eve in Newfoundland & Labrador - a little known Christmas fact) and by now I know which plans are going to be realized, and which plans are not.  Lots of baking did get done, no Christmas card again this year, we did get do the Peak of Christmas on Grouse Mountain, no Christmas light tours so far....you get the idea.  It's great to make plans, but by now it's gonna be what it's gonna be, and there is no point getting your knickers in a twist about what didn't get done.

And that is how I feel about turning 60 in 4 days.  I had all kinds of good ideas, plans, aspirations, dreams.  Some of them happened, some of them didn't.  I'm not thinner, but I have a great new job.  I'm not richer, but I made some great decisions with our finances this year.  I'm not famous, but I have a great time helping and enjoying the people that I love.  I still need a new pair of shoes to wear to my birthday party, but I've got a great dress.  I'm not thrilled about everything from my 50's, but I have a bright new shiny decade to take for a ride starting Tuesday.

So at this point, it's gonna be what it's gonna be; and I'm OK with that.

5 Pants in 5 Days

As I am approaching my 60th birthday, one of the things I'm trying to do is decide what things in my life it's time to lay down, and what things in my life are worth investing in.  I can do a lot of things but I can't do them all at the same time, and if I try to keep doing everything I can't take on anything new, which I also want to do.

Sewing is one of those things I need to decide about.  I started sewing when I was in 5th grade, creating Barbie outfits by hand, using a pattern even.  I learned how to use a treadle sewing machine at my Auntie Viola's house, I took sewing lessons in the summer between Gr. 7 & 8 at the Singer store at Granville and 7th and made a navy blue wool double breasted coat dress lined with a suit collar, set in sleeves and a full lining - I still can't believe it.

After that, I made most of my own clothes until just a few years ago. I made clothes for Dave, sewed for all the kids, made my girls party dresses, Hannah's wedding dress, Sarah and Maria's bridesmaids dresses.  But in the last few years, I'm sewing less and less - stylish clothes are less expensive and available in a greater range of sizes, and I've been working full time and travelling to see my kids every chance I get.  Then what happens is that I'll try to sew something for myself and it ends up unwearable - ARGH!

Do you remember the movie Julie and Julia?  For 365 days, Julie blogged as she cooked her way through Julia Child's encyclopaedic French cookbook, one recipe a day.  I'm not gonna do that.  BUT I am going to make a pair of pants every day for 5 days this week with a pattern I made myself.

Oh, yeah I just said that.  In fact, I just finished the first pair - light grey linen.  It took me forever, I put the zipper in 3 times and I put the yoke on backwards.  They're OK, but a little big.  I just finished altering the pattern, I bought 4 other fabrics, organized my sewing room and I'm ready to roll.  This week I'll be working, attending a funeral, teaching 5 piano lessons and going to a home-school conference on Friday.  But before I go, I'll have 5 brand new pairs of pants.

It's Monday evening, I gotta go sew.....

time to become a financial grownup

If one is going to be sixty, possibly one should start thinking more seriously about one's finances.  The power of denial is about to be broken!

We had some questions about the Canada Pension Plan because the rules are changing Jan. 1 2012.  Because my birthday is Dec. 27 I could legally retire at 60 3 days before the rules change.  Last year we really tried to figure this out, we asked several people and could not seem to get a straight answer.  The website was daunting.  So this year, with all this talk of change, I was really praying for a breakthrough when a lady from Welcome Wagon visited me at work, made her presentation and ended with "the last sponsor is my husband, who is a financial planner".  I had sandwiched this woman into a busy day in a busy week but that made the Holy Spirit light bulb go off in my head, so I told her if her husband could explain the CPP changes we would meet with him.

Of course he phoned with answers available, so now I had to put on my big girl pants and go see him.  I know we look like morons on paper, and now I was to be undone publicly.  I feared a fear and it came upon me!

I won't bore you with all the details, but here's what I learned: it's all about tax planning. Does everyone know this, and I am once again bringing up the rear?   I realized I don't even know how much we pay in taxes.  But that is about to change and there is nothing here I can't learn, even if it's my least favorite thing in the universe.

One day I was driving in a beautiful neighbourhood in Portland past gorgeous historical houses and I asked right out loud "what do you have to do to live in a house like that?"  I knew that there were a lot of professionals and money industry people there, but I realized that I am just as smart as any of them and I know how to work hard.  If my family had been in insurance or real estate or similar business I would have thrived in that environment; I probably would have done very well and could be living in one of those lovely homes.

But God knew what I needed and I was marked for ministry from an early age.  And now I live in a lovely historical home at peace with my family - priceless.  I have to trust that I'm smart enough to figure out what I need to learn to put our money in order for this season of life as well.  What a 60 project that is!

How I survived Worship X Change

Worship X Change is a worship conference that our school hosted this past week for other Christian schools.  It began as a thought among a small group of music teachers at a conference 18 months ago.  Our association director suggested we carry it out at our school with our teachers, alumni and students, and this week that's what we did.  I spearheaded the organization with a team that kept it on the rails.

By all accounts it was a success.  The general sessions ran well, with great response from the kids, everything happened pretty much as planned, and the exit surveys were overwhelmingly positive.  It was all cleaned up in less than 2 hours, and the planning staff went out to dinner to celebrate.  Lives were impacted, God was honoured, and good seeds were planted.  As an added bonus, we broke even on the budget!

I realize today that I should be feeling euphoric, elated, satisfied, fulfilled - something, anything.... We had a vision, dreamed a dream, started a challenge, and came across the finish line with flying colours.  But I feel almost nothing, outside of being dismayed at what a mess my house is after days of neglect.

I don't think in all the preparation that I took time to picture what success would look like.  I didn't imagine how it would feel, what the impact could be.  My own part in the actual event was more like this:  tracking down the lost photocopy, looking for a tablecloth, pounding out documents at the last minute, realizing what I forgot to put on a list, spending money last minute that I didn't anticipate - like that.  By the time it was over, my feet and knees were killing me, and I could barely speak a coherent thought.

Today I rested, went to breakfast with my kids, had a nap, read a book, saw a movie.  I sat down with the exit surveys and read how kids felt they had grown closer to God, learned a new guitar technique, met some new friends, bonded with their worship band, understood the Bible in a whole new way - wow, wow, wow.

On Tuesday, we are having an Open House at school that I have also spearheaded, so I think I'm going to take some time tomorrow to anticipate the success, imagine how it will feel to meet the goals we have set, to try to see what God sees, to appreciate how the little things I do on Tuesday impact people for a lifetime, and prepare to celebrate down to my toes when it is all over.  If being in the development end of the school is part of The 60 Project for me, it needs to be something that strengthens me emotionally and spiritually - something more than just a pile of To Do Today lists that I pitch in the trash at the end of the day.

Excuse while I snuggle up with a good book......

Update on the 60 Project

So the weight thing.  I joined Weight Watchers with my friend Keri so that I would have some accountability.  I want to lose the weight I gained back since the summer.  All my spring clothes will be too small if I don't do this.  It is much cheaper to lose the weight than replace the clothes.

Couple of cool things about WW: 1. they now have a cool app for my iphone to track my eating and exercise.  2. I get points credit for exercise, so I have begun walking again, even in the rain.

So the too busy thing.  I have been orthodoxly religious about taking my days off and enjoying them.  Like right now I'm sitting by the fire IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON ON A WEEKDAY writing on my blog.  This is an example of me turning over a new leaf in the life balance arena.

I promised to be even nicer to my husband this year.  We started a new marriage course with a group of other married people.  It's called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage.  I was immediately challenged.  Wonder if I can break out of my comfort zone here.....

And finally, I am blogging!  I had major computer headaches.  For my new job we decided to use my personal laptop and make it do for both personal and professional needs.  After it was finished being reprogrammed, I couldn't get it to work properly anywhere.  Now I'm up and running again.

That's the update - I'll keep you posted.

To a Happy and Happier Anniversary

Saturday was our 39th anniversary. Dave and I had a delightful ceremony in a Craftsman mansion at UBC on January 15, 1972. We were a new generation with new ideas: we had matching wedding rings instead of an engagement ring, we wrote our own vows and we stayed in Vancouver instead of escaping on a honeymoon.  We were the real deal.

We were so happy to be together. We moved into our apartment with nothing but a trunk of clothes and our wedding gifts. Dave got a job from my dad and a delivery truck from my brother. I walked into my tiny kitchen, put my avocado appliances away and taught myself to cook by reading the two recipe books I received as gifts. The second week I was married we had our first dinner guests. I made a complete Chinese meal and we ate on a tablecloth spread on the carpet because we had no table or chairs.

We have pastored a log cabin church by the ocean, rushed sick babies to the hospital in the middle of the night, prayed with the wealthy and poor, dined with the prime minister of Israel, had money arrive by supernatural means right when we needed it, renovated numerous houses on a shoestring, and loved each other through it all - some days more than others!

Now we live together in an English cottage, work together in an amazing school and serve together in the best church we know.  That's a lot of togetherness.  It's pretty good, but I think this year I'd like to do a little better.  I don't want to take for granted one of the best people I've ever met, but I also need to make sure I have enough down time to unwind.  I know I have more to give when I've had time to reset my mind and emotions.  (And exercise - another topic for another day)

So this is part of The 60 project:  to make sure I preserve my days off for unwinding, keeping my mind off work, doing what needs to be done combined with taking care of myself.  Last Thursday I went shopping with my daughter - all day (I know!), and today I read a book, answered my email, got a pedicure and a haircut and visited with a friend.  Occasionally I feel guilty, like I should be changing the world or laying down my life for somebody, but I just smack myself upside the head and that pretty much takes care of it. Try it!